It’s the same exact feeling when you want to give up on everything.
Happiness seems so unreachable and having a smile on your face would be unbelievable.
I am here to tell you that “Depression” is beyond real, and there is a way to survive through it.
The worst part about being depressed is most times you aren’t aware of it until you research the meaning and hear someone else’s story.
a (1) : a state of feeling sad : dejection
- anger, anxiety, and depression
(2) : a mood disorder marked especially by sadness, inactivity, difficulty in thinking and concentration, a significant increase or decrease in appetite and time spent sleeping, feelings of dejectionand hopelessness, and sometimes suicidal tendencies
- bouts of depression
- suffering from clinical depression
My Depression started when I lost my job back in December of 2016. It was one of the worst days of my life. I lost my job due to someone’s lies and devious ways. I can remember that moment of me sitting in the office; the doctor in one chair and the manager in another. All I can remember was the lie they told and my burst of rage and disappointment. As I was escorted out the building of the same job I was so proud to receive once before, the same job who encouraged me, taught me so much, and I thought that truly had love for me….that same job stabbed me in the back. I can only sit in my brand new car that I just brought and think “Why me?”
I thought about fighting back. I definitely had a case on my hands with deformation of character and proof of a lie told upon me. But, the physical me couldn’t fight back. The physical me became “lost.”I was stuck in a place of confusion, pain, and fear. I was confused on why this had to happen to me three weeks before Christmas. The pain came from being betrayed by those I thought loved me. The fear of moving on and not wanting anyone else to do me so wrong. It seemed like so many months flew by that I just remained…MUTE.
I no longer looked at myself in the mirror. My bed became a place of no escape. The small kicks of a baby that was growing inside of me wanted me to be happy so bad; I just knew it. Poor unborn child!
“Mommy you can’t do this to yourself. I know this hurt you real bad, but I promise there’s light at the end of this journey. I’m growing in your stomach. My legs are touching, my feet can’t stop dancing inside of you. My heart is full of life. But, mommy I need you to know that things happen for a reason. This situation is apart of your story and is going to help you discover so much more about yourself. Your going to make it through this and let it be a testimony to help others get through this. In fact your going to name me “Jurnee” as apart of your story that you made it through mommy!”
Yes! It was the baby that was my motivation to take a stand and get myself together. I had to push myself to a better place because this darkness I seen isn’t for me.
- You are not your PAST- It’s time to bury what has been done and start seeking a new beginning
- Shout it out- I am beautiful, I am strong, I can make it, I “can’t” is not in my vocabulary, I will find the solution, I’m going to make it, I can start over again until it’s done, I forgive you
- Read me- there are tons of self-help books that is designed specifically just for your exact need. All you gotta do is GO GET IT, take notes, and take action
- Motivation- there is someone who is counting on you. Don’t let them down.
- Love yourself- you were created with a purpose in life and your life needs you to honor it, respect it, and love it.
You are in control….all you have to do is take the first step